Finding your Identity

Finding your Identity in general can be hard, but it can be especially difficult when you have a disability. When I was growing up I wish I had surrounded myself with more disabled people or people with the same diagnosis. I had friends I met through a summer camp who shared the same diagnosis but we never got to see each other outside of camp because of how far we lived from each other. I am so thankful for those friends because I think life would be unbearable without them. But it was always hard for us to be super close friends because we only saw each other once a year and had only communication outside of that one-week summer camp once we all got phones when we were 12,13 years old.

 Because I am higher functioning than a lot of my friends who I went to summer camp with, I am not a full-time wheelchair user or I don’t use crutches to walk but I can’t walk for long distances. I would end up feeling like I belonged with that group. I didn’t identify as disabled I would feel awkward around this group of friends. When I was at school I felt excluded because I couldn’t keep up with my friends or do the same things as my friends. 

It wasn’t until the summer before I started high school that I started figuring out who I was and where I fit into both communities. I joined more and more organizations that offered different sports and activities for people with disabilities. I soon realized that disability is a spectrum and no matter where you fall in that spectrum your struggles are valid. I would often not feel “sick enough” to be disabled but that is not the case. Everyone even with the same disability has different outcomes. I have learned that it is best to not compare myself to others.  

I joined my high school track team during my freshman year. It had been my dream since I was little to be a part of something through my school. But I never know how. I had never seen a disabled person compete on their school team with other non-disabled athletes. But I soon learned that this was a possibility. Being on my high school’s track team gives me the best of both worlds I get to be a part of my school’s team and I get to socialize with my non-disabled peers. But when it’s time to compete I get to compete with other wheelchair racers. This allows me to socialize with people who understand what it is like to have a disability without that being everyone I talk to.

What I have found is the best is to join an organization, a camp, something that allows you to be around other disabled people so you don’t feel alone and can connect to these people on a different level. While also partaking in things with non-disabled people like a church group, going to high school football games, and finding a group that shares a common interest such as art, animals, etc. It is as important to find a community of other disabled people as it is to find a community in other parts of your life. Identity is made up of so many different things it's important to know that your disability is just one part of you.